Separation Saturday wrap-up

After finally getting some much-needed cable into my folks’ house and waiting until the third quarter to get the DirectTV receiver to work, I felt that it was my God-given right to indulge in a sweet brickwood cigar and follow the key games from Separation Saturday.

In South Bend, the Michigan Wolverines stomped all over Brady Quinn’s dreams of winning the Heisman Trophy by destroying the Irish 47-21 this afternoon and in the process, quelling the belief that Lloyd Carr couldn’t win the big games against Ohio State or Notre Dame anymore.

For Auburn and LSU, their annual grudge match looked more like an Auburn-LSU baseball game at Alex Box Stadium in Baton Rouge as LSU won 7-3 over Auburn in a game that normally determines who will represent the SEC West in the SEC Championship game in Atlanta later on in the season.

In Lexington, the Wildcats (pause for dramatic effect) ran roughshod over an undermanned Ole Miss squad that turned the ball over five times and got manhandled 31-14 to fall to 1-2 on the season.

And leave Coach O finding some more uses for profantities in the postgame press conference.

In Memphis, a couple of Tiger squad played another classic tonight at the Liberty Bowl as Tennessee State pulled off an overtime win by screwing up on an extra point try and then converting it to a two-point conversion by using the same shovel pass that I use sometimes when I quarterback street football games in my neighborhood to beat Jackson State 31 to 30 in the Southern Heritage Classic.

Meanwhile in Greenville, the Memphis Tigers were Jekyll and Hyde on the field tonight as a subpar second half doomed the Tigers in their game against East Carolina this evening as the Pirates beat the Tigers 35 to 20 and drop the Tigers to 1-2 on the season.

Wonder what DeAngelo’s doing these days, Tiger fans?

Neither am I.

In Bloomington, Indiana, my former school, Southern Illinois, beat a Big Ten school for the first time in school history by beating Indiana 35 to 28.

Which is not really any cause for celebration in Carbondale.

These are the Hoosiers.

In Nashville, my friend Kasi’s school almost pulled off a cardiac victory but came up two points short of beating the Razorbacks at Vanderbilt Stadium this afternoon.

Which means the pharmacists in Nashville will triple dosages of heart medications for patients at hospitals all over Nashville.

The Mississippi State Bulldogs scored points for the first time this season and still lost at home to Tulane by three points.

Same old thing in Starkville.

In Knoxville, another classic chapter was added to the Florida-Tennessee rivalry as Florida came from behind to beat the Vols 21 to 20 on a last-minute drive engineered by senior quarterback Chris Leak.

And another reason to explain to my 9 year-old playnephew that Florida wears the gayest uniforms in the SEC.

Now that these acts of this Saturday in football have been written, what will happen next Saturday?

Only time will tell.

Be in store for a busy weekend here in the Bluff City

A message to visitors to our fair city.

If you’re in town and you’re stuck in your hotel room Downtown watching news stories on the city’s latest homicide, that’s your fault.

Not ours if you’re missing out on one of the best weekends of the year here in this city.

For starters, hometown hero Justin Timberlake will be bringing his style of sexy back to Memphis on tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. on Beale Street.

Which means that your breakfast will consist of eggs over easy, pancakes, coffee, bacon, and a side of “SexyBack” tomorrow morning.

Not too far away at the Cannon Center, Tom Joyner will be having his annual Sky Show with performances by all those people that your parents (as well as mine) hear on 101.1 everyday starting at 5 a.m.

Well, not everybody.

Later that night, your little sister (and even your girlfriend) will be in store to see their wannabe baby daddies/boyfriends Chris Brown and Ne-Yo (not sure if he’s gay or not) at the FedEx Forum for the Southern Hertiage Classic concert for all those people (including myself) that don’t want to see those lame dances that our aunts, uncles, and parents do at those family reunions.

Which will be probably seen at the Mid-South Coliseum when Frankie Beverly and Maze perform on Saturday night when they perform after the Southern Hertiage Classic.

If walking is your thing and you want to do something good for your heart, you can do what I’ll be doing on Saturday morning when the American Heart Association hosts its annual Heart Walk, which will start at the corner of South Third and Union Avenue at 9 a.m.

And afterwards you can hit a few out to the Bluff like the Redbirds do.

In Midtown, the annual beginning of the fall here in this city, the Cooper-Young Festival, will be once again at the intersection of South Cooper Street and Young Avenue and performing this will be one of my friends’ bands, Arma Secreta, who will make their first appearance at the Festival on Saturday afternoon.

And no, you cannot bring your pets.

And what about that little game they play every year that sometimes leave traffic backed up all the way down South Hollywood/East Parkway South/Cooper/any street that is two or less miles from the Liberty Bowl?

You know, where you see all the dimepieces, distractions that whenever the game gets shitty, you can focus on getting a dime’s number or picture with your digital camera or camera phone?

The Classic?

Well, I can’t tell you what that’s all about because of course, you’ll have to read my column on tomorrow afternoon to get the gist of the Classic and what things to watch out for.

But on Sunday, like the Good Lord did on the seventh day when He created mankind, you can rest your weary feet.

And stay in bed.