The origin of the “Holy War”

In looking back at 2006, this afternoon’s post will look back the whole rivalry between the Memphis Church and Da Crew, number 67 on the year-end countdown.

I had began attending church out in Cordova at the beginning part of the year, this coming after leaving a church but not attending services the year before.

Little did I know that the group of people that I associated with at the church would turn into a holy-roller version of Da Crew.

To some in Da Crew, they view the Bible Thumpers (that was the nickname that we gave to them) as emigrated snobs who would only last a hot second in South Memphis.

And the Bible Thumpers viewed us as a bunch of cocky and arrogant people who couldn’t keep their mouths closed.

Which was usually reserved for me, because I went into their church and dissed everyone from the janitor who cleans up to the church leader when I first got there.

When we tried to play them in basketball, I figured that there was going to be some excuse that they would chicken out if we moved forward with the game that we brokered with them.

So to solve that, I ended up writing up a contract in order to guarantee the game and making sure that all parties would understand the legal implications of the game.

Which was done at a press conference that was caught on tape with the help of my video camera in the campus cafeteria.

The contract for the most part was signed by both myself and Dr. Chris on January 24th, the same day that we were supposed to have a Bible study out in Hickory Hill.

Later that day, one of the people that we were going to face in the “Holy War” saw the contract that was done earlier in the day and signed by both myself and Dr. Chris at school.

Much to the chagrin of the people at the church, they saw this contract and started the seeds of the rivalry that started between Da Crew and the Bible Thumpers.

On Feb. 10th, the “Holy War” got intense when one of them decided to use my phone as a way to diss everyone and everything in Da Crew, this during one of the worst snowstorms in the history of the city.

Five days later, on Feb. 15th, there was going to be a Meeting of the Minds (read:the introduction of the two factions on campus).

That’s when one of them decided to hide in the Office Depot parking lot, which angered the members of Da Crew.

Especially when one of them said that they didn’t have time to play with little children, which was heard by some in Da Crew.

Well, who’s the little one now?

Mr. Buck, please forgive Angie

In looking back at 2006 and the year it was, today’s early post will look back at number 68 on the countdown of the 100 things, people, sayings, moments, and trends that made 2006 a year to remember.

In Cardinal Nation, one thing is a very known fact.

The women of the Nation are 80% versed on the basics of St. Louis Cardinals history.

They know that Harry Caray was once announcer for the Cardinals from the mid-1940’s to 1969, fifteen years before I was born.

They know who Jack Buck is, who Ozzie Smith is, what “Whiteyball” means, the reason why Willie McGhee’s number should be retired, and most importantly, who Jack Buck is.

Emphasis on that final point.

Before the season started, I ended up purchasing a book in the Backstop Baseball Emporium aptly called Remembering Jack Buck, which was a collection of stories about Mr. Buck and his career.

Given the fact that I normally got bored after doing everything that I had to do at my job, I figured three weeks after buying the book, I would pack the book in my backpack as I went to my classes for the day and read it during my down time at school or even at work.

One of those days that I brought the book with me to school to read was when I tried to explain to Angie who Joe Buck was.

“He’s Jack Buck’s son,” I said to her as I handed her the book.

Now mind you, the book on Jack Buck had some wonderful pictures of Jack Buck and his family and knowing that Angie was an Early Childhood Development major, I figured she would be able to identify who Joe Buck was.

“He was married twice,” I said to her, “He had six children from his first marriage and two from his second marriage.”

She looked at a picture that was taken in 1966 with Mr. Buck and his children and tried to point out which one was Joe.

“Joe wasn’t born until 1969,” I said, “You’ll have to look for a much current picture of Mr. Buck and his family.”

We turned to a picture that was taken three years before his death at his 75th birthday party with all of his children (including Joe).

“That’s Joe,” she said pointing to a guy that was third in the row below the one with Joe Buck.

“No it’s not,” I said to Angela as I tried desparately to explain who Joe Buck was.

“Okay, these were from his first marriage,” she said as she pointed to several of Jack Buck’s children.

She got to Joe and said to me, “First marriage.”

“No,” I said, “Second marriage. He was born in 1969.”

After five minutes of irrevelant arguing, I figured that God could forgive Angela for not getting the children of Jack Buck correct.

I kinda figured Jack Buck saying to God, “Father forgive her, for she’s not a Cardinals fan like this young man is.”

And God said, “I will by sending her a Scott Rolen jersey.”

Blogs were very interesting at times this year

In looking back at 2006, this afternoon’s post will look back at number 74 on the countdown of the 100 things that made this year a year to remember.

I began to keep a blog of everything that I did during the tail end of last summer when I felt that I had way too many stories to tell in my own words.

The blog that I once owned on Blogger, was a minor hit with people at Southwest, where I was a student for the beginning part of the year, mainly because I kept the students abreast on things that were happening around the campus at the corner of Manassas and Union.

Which was mainly drama from within the confines of Da Crew.

At the beginning of June, I began a new blog that I only updated in the afternoon on WordPress.com, which is why the URL is theafternoonsnooze.wordpress.con, a URL that sadly, I can’t change.

Aside from my blog, a few of my friends began to keep blogs as well, though they were not as widely read as my blog.

For a time, a couple of my friends, Robert and Joye, who were dating during the first part of March, wrote about their feelings in their respective blogs, which was pretty much a way to keep their thoughts on their courtship and share it with the world.

Not only that, Joye kept one on Myspace, which is linked from the blog you are read, and is very interesting if I might add.

My friend Tracy, given the fact that she read the morning blog religiously (as well as her cousin), began to keep one on Myspace about how she felt each day, which I don’t too much read because I’ve only been on her page a few times.

In the Galloway Gang, Jason wrote about one of the guys that used to help out on Saturdays who was in Palestine and kept us updated on his condition (keep him in your prayers) and discussed George Orwell’s 1984 as well as shows that he was attending around Memphis.

Meredith’s blog covered things about her soccer team’s season over at Houston High, dumb ideas, and just some random thoughts to her own life.

As for Jeff, he shared with us on how to get kicked out of Kroger at 2:00 a.m., emo music (which I’m a fan of), and things that will make you wonder why I named him one of my “pastors” at the former Myspace church that I owned.

Of course, the blog that you are reading now went from 200 hits in August, which was the total for the month, to over 4,000 hits going into December.

And it’s because of the columns that I have written, that the blog has been a success.

But more importantly, it’s the readers that make this blog a success.

Best of Memphis, meet the Hot List

On yesterday, I picked up a copy of this year’s “Best of Memphis”, brought to you in part by the good people at the Memphis Flyer while I was eating lunch at my favorite lunchtime hangout, the Bon-Ton Cafe on Pimp Avenue near Autozone Park.

While reading the Best of Memphis issue in the Flyer, an idea hit me while I sank another bite into my cheeseburger and took a sip from my sweet tea.

Why don’t I come up with a list of the hottest things that, in my opinion, happened this year to both myself and my friends?

Of course, this won’t be the final time that I do this for the blog, because I still have to compile the 200 things that made 2006 great.

But without further ado and no more laments about snubs and other crap, I would like to present to you the 2006 Hot List.

Hottest Place to Get a Burger Meal For Under $10

1. My personal favorite-Bon Ton Cafe on Monroe Avenue (They have their daily cheesburger special for $6.00, a welcome treat for anyone who has only seven dollars in their pockets lol)

2. Murphy’s on Madison Avenue and South Avalon Street (I haven’t tried their $5.50 cheeseburger special, but I’m pretty sure that it’s about as good as the Bon-Ton Cafe’s special)

3. Sam’s on South Main and Madison Avenue (When I first got to Southwest in 2004, this was where I would hang out at for lunch after classes let out before starting my patronage at the Bon-Ton a block south. The lunchtime crowd is very excellent and the guys there let you put your own toppings on the burgers you purchase)

Hottest MySpace Profile Layout

1. Dr. Joye (Even if she didn’t change her profile layout this past week, it would have won hands down again. Very cute and attractive if I might add)

2. Shan (When I do leave a comment on her page, it’s not filled all that crap you have to scroll down to before you leave your piece on your page. And of course, the page’s colors are very earth-toned)

3. Keldrick (Glad he got rid of the DragonBall Z crap and put a Jimi Hendrix layout on his page, which makes his profile layout stand out because of its indivuality)

Hottest Soap Opera Moment Involving Da Crew

1. Da Pimp’s a baby daddy (Of course, there’s no truth to the fact that his potential baby mama got an abortion, but that’s his problem)

2. The aftermath of Angela’s visit to Autozone Park (The greatest collapse in the history of Memphis professional baseball)

3.The Witches at the table (Some of them need to be placed in nursing homes, not college cafeterias)

Hottest Redbird Moment That Did Not Involve Miss Candy

1. Kelly and Michelle’s horrible camp sing-a-long during the Kids’ Camp (A good reason why I should download Ace of Base’s Greatest Hits before I head out of town)

2. Erica’s a Redhot (Which renewed my long-standing questioning of the intergrity of the Redbirds organization)

3. Michelle and Sharika’s misadventures (Oh, good grief)

Hottest Food Not Bombs Moment

1. My drunken appearance at Galloway on May 20th (That’s what a bottle of Jack Daniel’s can do to you after you finish celebrating your friend’s birthday in the streets of Memphis)

2. Adam and Kelsey’s bootleg wedding that never happened (They were going to get registered at Yum’s on Jackson Avenue)

3. FNB Myspace Churches (We preach the teachings that were bestowefd to us by Rev. Alex Richards and the Rev. Doc Hancock)

Hottest Musical Acts

1. While I Breathe, I Hope (I wished I had gotten their album when it came out in June, it would have made a great addition to my growing rock collection)

2. Yo Gotti (Big splash indeed for the “Mayor of North Memphis”, loved the single “Got ‘Em”)

3. Nakia Shine (Hell, even two year-olds are wearing stunna shades these days)

Hottest Redbird Moment That Did Involve Miss Candy

1. The “Doc and Miss Candy Show” (Enough said.)

2. My ice-breaker on June 4th (Almost worked out, didn’t it?)

3. The spook to end all spooks on July 20th (Where’s that flask of vodka?)

Hottest TV newswoman

1. Syan Rhodes (A good reason why I watch the news when I’m at home on Saturday nights)

2. Shay Harris (My friend Brandon would probably kick my ass if I didn’t include her on the list)

3. Nicondra Norwood (Well, she’s from Louisiana)

I’ll have more of my hot list on tomorrow morning as I have some more things to come up with in this blog.

For now, just a large canteen of water and cool off.

It’s ugly, pimp

After leaving Southwest at the end of the spring semester earlier in the year, I figured that my days of reporting on what goes on with Da Crew would be over as I embarked on a new journey to the UT Health Science Center, where I will start in the spring in the College of Social Work.

Wrong.

On yesterday, I was browsing for a new MP3 player that I needed for my trip to Hole-in-the-Wall, Tennessee in October at Office Depot on Union and South Manassas when I decided on a hunch to make a stop across the street to the STCC campus to see what was going on.

I met up with a guy that had tried so desparately to be a part of Da Crew when he told me that Da Pimp was in some hot water with a guy that we know named Doug, who is pretty much in a sense Da Crew’s version of Mr. Belding (yeah, I remember Saved By the Bell).

According to Tracey in my conversation with her a couple of weeks ago, there were rumors that Doug didn’t work there anymore.

Which was a lie.

In my ten-minute conversation with Doug, I found out that Da Pimp was hiding because of the fact that he was afraid of what Doug was going to do to him once they bumped heads on the campus.

I also found out that much of what went on (I already knew this) during the spring semester was a result of Da Pimp’s attempt to control people on campus.

Which was the reason why that girl from the bookstore and I’s trip to Autozone Park meant nothing at all.

The stuff that I heard on yesterday made me think of Da Pimp’s old message thing on his cell phone.

One of the lines on it was, “Stand ten toes and never let another man intimidate you” or something like that.

But after what was told to me on yesterday, guess who’s backing down now?

Da Pimp returns, but no one really seems to care

Yesterday evening, while I was coming up with tomorrow morning’s column, I got a phone call out of the blue from Da Pimp.

That’s right, Monroe Waterbury Gibbs, III.

For much of the spring semester, there was a lot of tension that was going on in Da Crew on the account of Da Pimp’s constant henpecking and input.

Especially when I tried to pursue the girl from the bookstore, Da Pimp’s input and advice to the girl did more damage than harm.

And this came after me and the girl (remember, kids, this was before Miss Candy) shared a friendly kiss in Autozone Park on the first day of spring training.

Thinking that Da Crew would at least get a break from the mess that Da Pimp produced during the spring semester and the beginning of the baseball season, the mess turned ugly when Da Pimp mentioned to an honorary member of the Da Crew some stupid things about myself, Chris, and Tracy.

According to Tracy, Da Pimp calls me a raging alcoholic and a person who can’t deal with reality.

Which has pretty much fallen on deaf ears.

A week later, I was told by Tracy that the honorary member of Da Crew said that Da Pimp, who is expecting a child by someone down in the neighborhood near Third and McLemore that goes by the name of “Yo-Yo”, who said some things that will not fit this column about Da Pimp.

When Tracy had her baby on July 24th, Da Pimp made his stupidity well known when instead of heading to the hospital where Tracy gave birth to Zack, he heads to the hospital where one of Da Crew’s adversaries was giving birth.

How nice.

Three days after that happen, more stuff from Tracy was reported to me about Da Pimp, this time from one of the honorary members of Da Crew that Da Pimp is a good-for-nothing dude that doesn’t want to do anything.

And after knowing the guy for a year, I see that up close and personal.

When you’re in your 30s and you’re living at home with your mom and to add, you’re broke and jobless, you get ticked off at the world and then start going after people who are more successful than you.

And then you call everybody in Da Crew to say that you’re coming back to the corner of South Manassas and Union Avenue, but seriously, no one really cares.

It’s more like a dead audience sound.