You can’t be serious, can you?

A few minutes ago, I was talking with a friend about the strange happenings of the last twenty-four hours (actually, 48 because this has gone on since Monday).

 Of course, four days ago, I found out that indeed, the chocolate cutie did have some feelings for me.

 I said “some”, readers.

Monday night, in an apparent drunken state of mind, I denied to my therapist Dr. Chris that I wasn’t in love with the chocolate cutie and that, like most crushes I’ve had, was a phase that I’ll get over.

The chilling prediction that my therapist said to me on Monday night was that if I didn’t go on and admit that I liked (or in this case) am infatuated with the chocolate cutie, the Cardinals would lose and something would damage my computer.

Something that I knew was nothing but a joke until yesterday afternoon.

 When I returned home, I found out my computer, which is normally blaring out “Marion’s Theme”, a tune I play when the Cardinals or Redbirds win, was silent.

And there was no trace of overheating in the computer or nothing unusual whatsoever.

 Which meant I wouldn’t be listening to the Cardinals-Marlins game for at least two nights because according to my friend Tony, the problem was that lighting (apparently) hit the computer at one point during the afternoon.

Later on in the evening, I watched the news to see that the Cardinals were indeed losing to the Marlins 9 to 1 in the top of the ninth inning in St. Louis.

Just a coindience?

On August 19th, when the Redbirds faced Round Rock, I managed to sneak in a bunch of Hershey Minatures that would later melt away in my Notre Dame hat and to my amazement, both Abbey and Amber plucked a few Mr. Goodbar minatures from the hat.

 And the next day, the chocolate cutie was at the ballpark.

 I explained all of this to my friend a few minutes ago when he said to me that all of what occured this summer and defintely last year when I got those two teams confused in the broadcast booth, that the chocolate cutie apparently has some kinda spell that led me to her.

Really?

Of course that would explain the reason why I ended up changing my home run call and other things.

Would that explain the recent sightings of Mr.Goodbar candy wrappers, sir?

Uhhhhhh………………….

I have no idea.

There’s no explanation of this.

Yes,Miss Candy, it was definitely a magical ending to a magical summer

If you would have told me that in a course of one day, the Redbirds would close out the summer of Doc Hancock and Miss Candy with a win, Gary Bennett of the Cardinals would win the game in St. Louis with a grand slam to complete a three-game sweep of the Cubs, and then at midnight, my fantasy baseball team secures a playoff spot and as luck would have it, a picture of myself and the chocolate cutie holding a baseball appearing on my desktop at the exact moment, I would have laughed my tail off at you.

And fall out of the chair.

At approximately 1:39 p.m. CDT Sunday afternoon, I was on the pregame show with David Kelly doing an interview with him and repeating the same thing that I said when Bo Hart hit his game-winning homer on July 30th against Colorado Springs.

“The 2-1 to Hart………….Swing and a long one to left field………………..Goooodnight, Miss Candy, it’s………a……………….Goner and a winner!!!!!!!”

Over 50,000 watts of pure unadulterated funk.

Skip that part.

Six minutes later at 1:45, I was killing time in the Boardwalk when Michelle (the one I went to school with), Sharika, and myself got in a picture together.

It was also at the same time when the guy who patrols the Pimp Avenue gate at South Third Street recognized me as the object of a girl named Candance.

Of course, it took me a minute to realize who the guy, Michelle, and Sharika was talking about until Michelle uttered those two words that I know the chocolate cutie by.

“Miss Candy.”

Aha!!!!

Since July 4th, the talk of the entire Ballpark Gang has been the eleven or so minutes that the chocolate cutie and myself shared on the air.

Which is now part of Memphis professional baseball history as the first broadcaster’s crush to ever grace their chocolate and cute presence in the broadcast booth.

Of course, Michelle’s response to this was that myself and the chocolate cutie are the hottest near-couple in the Redbirds organization.

Aha!!!!!!

To be honest, I wasn’t really surprised by the fact that the chocolate cutie liked me anyway.

Not at all.

Even the wise Fantasy Baseball Guru himself knew as well as Amber.

And according to him, he’s just smart.

Same thing he said on July 20th, when we had “The Spook”.

Around 4:08 p.m., I was sitting in the broadcast booth while my guest partner (the guy was more organized than I was) and I did the station break and go over notes on the Sounds and Redbirds.

When a giant gust of wind blew through our broadcast booth, causing a flurry of rosters, lineups, and scorecards to go around the broadcast booth.

And the same gust that blew my hat off my head on August 20th.

At 4:49 p.m. Mike Rose (the same guy who hit that home run that prompted me to say the now famous and cute home run call) makes an out to close out the summer at Autozone Park and me breaking down in tears during the sign-off.

Fast forward six hours later to when of all people, Gary Bennett, hits a game-winning grand slam to win it for the Cardinals in the bottom of the ninth inning.

To beat the Cubs.

And move three games up on Cincinnati.

At approximately 12:02 a.m., I woke up to change the CD in my CD player when I found out that my fantasy baseball team made the playoffs and to top it all off, a picture of myself and the chocolate cutie holding a baseball together on August 20th appears on my desktop.

And left me with a wide smile and a blush redder than the Cardinals’ red caps.

Awwwww……………………………

At last, a win in the Windy City

The Cardinals picked a perfect time to face the Chicago Cubs as the wind blew out at Wrigley Field by beating the Cubs 11 to 3 behind the strength of home runs by Chris Duncan, Scott Rolen, Preston Wilson, and Gary Bennett and Jason Marquis’ first win since being moved down the rotation chart.

On tomorrow, Chris Carpenter will face Carlos Zambrano in the second game of the three-game series in Chicago.

Edwin Encarncion:Portrait of a Reds slugger

When you think the Cardinals can finally put together some wins, you run into Edwin Encarncion, the past week’s National League Player of the Week.

And he lived up to that moniker tonight by driving in four runs on the strength of two homers and three more dingers from Adam Dunn, Ken Griffey, and Rich Aurilla as the Reds beat the Cardinals tonight in St. Louis 7 to 2 to move within a game and a half of the Cardinals, who have lost four of their last five and 9 of their 14 meeting this season with the Reds.

There’s also been a change in the rotation. I said on Wednesday morning that the Cardinals will send Jason Marquis to the mound tomorrow but instead will send Jeff Weaver to the mound against Kyle Lohse for tomorrow’s rubber game in St. Louis. This was reported just before tonight’s game.

So real, you need to wear your stunna shades

 By now, anyone who reads the morning counterpart of this blog on Blogger or anyone that is associated with the Redbirds knows what has transpired between myself and the chocolate-covered cutie.

And since you, the reader already know, I will not bring it up again.

On Monday afternoon, I got a response from my big sister on what happened on Sunday afternoon when I did the game between the Redbirds and I-Cubs.

Her response?

“This is too real.”

Wait, did she just say that?

I had brought this up to my therapist on Sunday what had happened and told him while I was talking to the voice of the Redbirds, David Kelly, my attention diverted to seeing the chocolate cutie.

Of course, the whole idea of what has gone on this summer would be something you could make a movie out of.

Case in point, a couple of hours ago I was browsing through movie titles in Tower Records in Peabody Place when I came some little-known movie starring Kelly Rowland and Duane Martin (of “All of Us” fame).

On the jacket of the box it read, “Love can find you in the next seat.”

Don’t you mean the corner of Union and South Third?

A day after I played the clip from when the chocolate cutie and I shared the microphone and Albert Pujols hits a walk-off homer, I received another email saying that my love forecast was burning from my big sister.

After seeing ten Mr. Goodbar candy wrappers in the neighborhood I work in, I see the chocolate cutie again when I did my broadcast on Sunday.

And use that very cute home run call twice.

With three more broadcasts to go in the season, the push to get her number, get to know her away from the ballpark, and then go out on a date will be something to watch over the next 11 days.

That way, I’ll see for myself how real it is.

Dreamin’ through this

The Cardinals, after being swept away by the lowly Bucs, realized that this series with the Reds was the most crucial of the 2006 season for both the Reds, who was leading the wild card by a half game going into Tuesday’s game and only a game and a half behind the Cardinals.

But on last night, the Cardinals tacked one more game to their lead by shutting out the Cincinnati Reds 5 to 0 behind masterful pitching by Chris Carpenter and two RBIs by Rafael Belliard and a home run by Chris Duncan (thank God I picked this guy up for my fantasy league team) in the fifth inning.

All this happened as I slept through the third to ninth inning, dreaming about something that I will not discuss in this game wrap from the first game of the “Rumble on the Mississippi”.

Going tomorrow to the mound for Cincinnati will be Bronson Arroyo and former Redbird Anthony Reyes will go to the mound for the Redbirds in St. Louis.

On Thursday, Kyle Lohse will be on the mound for the Reds and Jeff Weaver will be on the mound for the Cardinals in the series finale between the two.

I also would like to add that the wise centerfielder himself, Skip Schumacher, will be playing for the USA team. His last game of the season was on Monday night, a 5-1 Redbirds win over the Iowa Cubs and he didn’t disappoint the hometown fans here as he made one of his patented catches in centerfield.

So the only way that he’ll hear about what’s going on between the chocolate cutie and myself is through the blogs that I own.

Da Pimp returns, but no one really seems to care

Yesterday evening, while I was coming up with tomorrow morning’s column, I got a phone call out of the blue from Da Pimp.

That’s right, Monroe Waterbury Gibbs, III.

For much of the spring semester, there was a lot of tension that was going on in Da Crew on the account of Da Pimp’s constant henpecking and input.

Especially when I tried to pursue the girl from the bookstore, Da Pimp’s input and advice to the girl did more damage than harm.

And this came after me and the girl (remember, kids, this was before Miss Candy) shared a friendly kiss in Autozone Park on the first day of spring training.

Thinking that Da Crew would at least get a break from the mess that Da Pimp produced during the spring semester and the beginning of the baseball season, the mess turned ugly when Da Pimp mentioned to an honorary member of the Da Crew some stupid things about myself, Chris, and Tracy.

According to Tracy, Da Pimp calls me a raging alcoholic and a person who can’t deal with reality.

Which has pretty much fallen on deaf ears.

A week later, I was told by Tracy that the honorary member of Da Crew said that Da Pimp, who is expecting a child by someone down in the neighborhood near Third and McLemore that goes by the name of “Yo-Yo”, who said some things that will not fit this column about Da Pimp.

When Tracy had her baby on July 24th, Da Pimp made his stupidity well known when instead of heading to the hospital where Tracy gave birth to Zack, he heads to the hospital where one of Da Crew’s adversaries was giving birth.

How nice.

Three days after that happen, more stuff from Tracy was reported to me about Da Pimp, this time from one of the honorary members of Da Crew that Da Pimp is a good-for-nothing dude that doesn’t want to do anything.

And after knowing the guy for a year, I see that up close and personal.

When you’re in your 30s and you’re living at home with your mom and to add, you’re broke and jobless, you get ticked off at the world and then start going after people who are more successful than you.

And then you call everybody in Da Crew to say that you’re coming back to the corner of South Manassas and Union Avenue, but seriously, no one really cares.

It’s more like a dead audience sound.

Chocolate daydreamin’ in the booth?

On Friday, I did a search on signs of falling in love on Yahoo to get to the bottom of what everybody at the corner of South Third and Union’s been saying since the chocolate cutie came in the broadcast booth on July 4th.

That I’m in love.

Of course, that was the belief of what my friends were saying when I was pursuing that girl from the bookstore about six months ago.

And we all know what happened.

On Sunday, my therapist Dr. Chris tried to explain to me that I was indeed in love with the chocolate cutie.

The first stage that Dr. Chris and myself discussed was the fact that a person constantly play a text message or answering message.

Substituting for that is the infamous clip from the July 4th broadcast that I did against Nashville.

The second stage is that certain songs that a person hears on radio might remind them of that person or themselves and the person.

Case in point, the song “Ready to Fall in Love” by Meredith Edwards or “If I Ever Fall in Love” by Shai, a group that rivalved Boyz II Men back in the early 90’s always seems to play when I return to the house on my computer.

And I admit, a few times, I’ve had a big smile on my face when I hear the songs.

The third stage is that a person is shy around that person they’re infatuated with.

Let’s see, on July 20th, I became about as spooked as a member of the Memphis Church in the middle of Dixie Homes.

When I returned to the ballpark, I started to babble about everything from chicken to the reason why you buy insurance from the Evansville Life and Casualty Insurance Company when I saw the chocolate cutie in the concourse area.

And then I questioned the Fantsy Baseball Guru, my “other big sis”, and the witness to Memphis professional baseball history about how in the world did they know about the chocolate cutie.

The fourth stage was whenever the person is apart from the person they are infatuated with, they start smiling and crap.

On August 2nd, while I was sitting in the dentist’s chair, I started laughing for no reason and paid the ultimate price for it by getting eight shots of novacine in my mouth.

The day before the “Doc and Miss Candy Show”, I was laughing in a Chinese resturant on Jefferson Avenue and even my waiter was laughing as well.

The fifth stage of infatuation, as stated in the writings of Dr. Joye (must get her new number to see what’s up) was denial.

Which I have done a lot of.

I tried to change the Webshots desktop that cycles the pictures on my desktop a few times, but the problem was that it wouldn’t change the picture when I wanted it to.

Maybe it was a way to finally face the fact that I (in a good way) am so crazy for her.

Which probably explains why I always seem to laugh everytime I use that now-famous home run call and have a big smile on my face.

And the cause for my recent daydreamin’ in the broadcast booth?

Most definitely.

This can’t really be the worst team in the NL Central

The Pirates allowed ten hits to the Cardinals yet the Pirates (yes, the Pirates), swept the Cardinals by winning 7 to 0 behind homers by Jason Bay and former Memphis Chick Joe Randa.

To make matters worse, the Reds defeated the Phillies in 11 innings by the score of 7 to 5 on back-to-back-to-back homers by Adam Dunn, Edwin Encarncion, and Rich Aurila.

So to sweeten the pot, whoever gets the edge in the Reds-Cardinals series will leave with the NL Central lead and be in the driver’s seat for the National League Central crown.

This can’t be the worst team in the NL Central

The Cardinals lost their second straight to the Pittsburgh Pirates by the score of 3 to 2 although the God Hitter hit his first home run since August 5th against Milwaukee and saw their lead in the NL Central shrink to two and a half as Cincinnati defeated Philadelphia 9 to 6 in Philly.

The Cardinals have one more with Pittsburgh and a travel day on Monday and then open a three-game series with the Reds in St. Louis beginning Tuesday night at Busch Stadium.